The Business of Being Born

Mr. Ibis and I watched The Business of Being Born last night after a dinner date. It's a documentary produced by Ricki Lake and directed by Abby Epstein about the way American women give birth these days - in the hospital, with meds, delivered by obstetricians - as opposed to the way that most women in other developed countries do it and perhaps we should too - at home or a birthing center, med-free, delivered by midwives.

This is a pretty popular and well-known film in pregnant circles, particularly among people interested in natural birth. It has a definite point of view, which is that natural birth is an amazing, normal, healthy experience that all pregnant women should be able to go through unless they have serious complications that are known before the birth. I am clarifying that the complications are pre-existing because many of the complications that arise during childbirth, the movie claims, are in fact caused by medical interventions that were not necessary and these complications would not have happened if the woman was allowed to labor in her own way and at her own pace.

I will say that I already knew all of the factual information that was in this documentary, because I've already done so much research on this subject. Coincidentally, much of the information and some of the expert interviews came from Tina Cassidy, the author of Birth, which I read last May as I mentioned here. However, I'm still glad that I saw this film, first because it shows footage of several natural home births, which I realized as I watched them I had never seen before. And secondly because I watched it with my husband and we got a lot out of it together and had some good conversations about childbirth because of it.

Given the fact that I'm already pro-natural birth and not really that afraid of childbirth, I was still a bit trepidatious about watching the actual birth scenes, for some reason. I guess I must have seen too many of the overdramatized trauma-filled births they show on TV (I don't make a habit of watching TLC baby shows but I have seen them), and they set my expectations for something a little stressful and scary and gross and bloody. The birth scenes in Being Born are peaceful, quiet, amazing, and beautiful. These were not the screaming, cursing, sobbing labors that you usually see. There was one midwife who herself had a difficult labor, but even her moaning really didn't seem that intimidating to me. Most of the women gave birth quietly and calmly, with just a little soft moaning and heavy breathing. Far from being grossed out, I was struggling not to burst into tears every time they pulled a new baby up to the mother's chest and she looked down at him or her with that blissed out post partum smile. After the first birth scene, Mr. Ibis immediately exclaimed, "I want that to happen to you!"

The film heavily endorsed home births over hospital births, which is pretty much the only area where I disagree with its point of view. The best piece of advice I have heard on natural birthing is that the most important part is to do whatever will make you the most comfortable and relaxed, and if being in a hospital will do it, go there. I feel that if I stayed home I would worry about having to get to the hospital in an emergency, and I would just rather not have to deal with that worry. Of course, being in the hospital brings on another set of worries, which is that I will be coerced into interventions I don't need or want, but we are planning for that. I found a hospital that is natural-friendly, we're hiring a doula, and I will labor at home as long as possible to avoid being rushed through my labor at the hospital.

Of course the film also endorsed midwives over OBs, and that's where I'm still fence sitting. I guess I don't really understand why an OB can't be open to natural birth... I know they are trained surgeons, but if I don't really need her to do anything but catch the baby, she should be able to provide that service for me. Still, I know that I don't really have a good reason not to switch other than that I guess the truth is it's pure inertia... unwillingness to change unless compelled. I told Mr. I that I think I will give Dr. J a chance by first talking to her and seeing if she responds well to the idea that I want a natural birth with a doula. If she acts weird about that I can tell her that I feel the midwife may be a better fit for me. Mr. I offered to come to my next appointment with me for moral support.

He's all for the natural birth now that he's learned more about it, which is so very, very valuable to any woman who wants to go drug-free. He understands why I'm doing it and that it's not just to be a hippie or earn an imaginary medal. He is really interested in the whole subject of childbirth and helping me through labor now, and I love that. It's awesome to feel like it's something we are going to do together and it's not just my journey alone.