As much as I am ever so grateful to still be pregnant, and as easy as my pregnancy as been, and as much as I want Miles to stay in there until he's good and ready to come out, yesterday I began to understand for the first time why women in their third trimester say they feel like they've been pregnant forever, or want their bodies back, or want to "be one person" again.
One thing that is getting uncomfortable for me is sitting on the couch, really any couch. I'm fine in a hard chair or an office chair, but sitting on a big pile of mush sofa is wretched. My back hurts, I don't know where to put my legs, I can't move, and the longer I sit the more uncomfortable I get. I watched a football game with Mr. Ibis last night which meant over three hours of couch sitting. Toward the end I was in agony until finally I stretched out and fell asleep with my head on his lap.
It's not even just the discomfort. It's true that the idea of continually being a host to someone else's body just starts to wear on you mentally a little. Again, I could not be more happy and excited that I'm 31 weeks pregnant and by all appearances having a healthy pregnancy with a happy baby inside. It's just... hard to explain.
What capped off my whiny, fretful evening was some bad sex. And I want to be clear that the badness was ALL on my end. I was restless and just felt like I wanted to jump out of my skin even before we started fooling around. I felt heavy and immobile but also twitchy and oversensitive. I felt horrible that I was being such a lousy sex partner but I was just struggling so hard to feel good or even remotely in the mood. And mind you, somehow two weeks had slipped by since the last time. Mr. Ibis got frustrated and was going to give up, but I apologized and asked him to just stick with me a little longer. Even as I rallied and tried to get into a better position, I suddenly could hear all these people telling me over the last few weeks, "You're so BIG!!!" Oh, it was just tragic.
So yes, I do miss "skinny girl sex." I am not delusional enough to think that we'll be doing it like bunnies with a baby around, but at least, at least, I will have a manageable body again someday soon. I hate the feeling of the morning after bad sex... a little embarrassed and hoping next time will be a lot better than that. Ugh.
4 comments:
Wow. If you feel that way at 31 weeks, you're in for a rude awakening for the next couple of months. I felt fantastic at 31 weeks.
Anonymous, this must be your first time visiting my blog... I have talked all along about how great I feel. That's why yesterday was a notable exception. Enjoy reading the archives to get some context!
I know what you mean! The challenges of having a belly are getting a bit old, and I'm not even that big or uncomfortable! But it's only 10 more weeks...
Hey, I don't know if this will work for you, but it has for us. We moved all action to the couch. It's easier to "work" around the belly, gives me something to hang on to, and I have more control over my position, instead of feeling like a bag of potatoes. HTH!
Thanks Lore! I was thinking of doing that but didn't... sounds like a good idea.
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