If you'll look at my "Baby Wednesday" sidebar you will see that this time of year is significant for Mr. Ibis and me in ways not pertaining to the changing of the calendar. I'm battling a little deja vu this morning and a little superstitious anxiety as well. I hope you all won't mind if I tell this story again and just get it out....
Last year and this year Mr. Ibis and I rang in the New Year in the same way: by sleeping. We went to bed early both New Years Eves and slept in a bit in the morning. Waking up to a quiet winter morning feels eerily similar. Of course there is one major difference between that morning last year and this one: last year on this day I was 9 weeks 1 day pregnant and this year I am 38 weeks 1 day pregnant.
... I just typed out my whole miscarriage story again and then I erased it. I think that I don't really want to retell it today. Suddenly I feel that I've told that story, and now I have a new story.
There would be a kind of poetic coincidence if I were to go into labor this weekend, and give birth to a healthy baby on the anniversary of the day I lost my first one. But this baby is his own person, and this pregnancy is its own whole, complete experience - it's not a rerun of what happened last year. Today we'll go to a party and watch football with some friends. Today I'm 38 weeks and 1 day pregnant and feeling wonderful.
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