Feeling good

I have no specific idea how much I'm sleeping anymore, but I know that this morning I woke up for the final time at 9am and I felt rested. No matter that I had been dreaming about finding and cataloging different types of pacifiers for the last hour, it was glorious to wake up and feel like I'd finally gotten enough sleep. I'm doing pretty well at minimizing the disruption of night nursing now, but for the past few days I've had to get up early to go to work (why oh why?) and was tired during the days. Today my cup of coffee is just a delicious luxury and not a lifeline.

My sister in law said yesterday that I am the calmest mother in the world. I think that it's just because I've risen from such depths of agony and pain since we got breastfeeding straightened out (I love you quad nipple cream!) that I feel like I can handle this whole motherhood thing. Granted I was ready to tear my hair out after taking my three sisters and baby to the mall (no stroller with me so I was lugging him in the infant carrier) and then having baby scream all the way home in the car... I don't know how people manage having multiple kids when the youngest one is a baby. Yikes. I'll still with one for now. I think people who purposely try for two under two are a little crazy.

Having my family here was good because it gave me a chance to get used to leaving Miles with babysitters for the first time, just for an hour or two here and there during the week. I can't believe that I'm back to work in only two weeks. So sad!

Miles is five and a half weeks now and I think he's hitting his 6 week growth spurt. Yesterday he ate almost continuously from noon to 3pm, falling asleep at the breast for a little while but then waking up and wanting more. It seemed impossible that I could even have that much milk to give him, but he seemed to be pretty content with whatever he was getting. Then he ate every hour or two after that until 8pm when he finally took a long nap. I was so glad my nipples had healed to the point where I could physically handle all that (even without ibuprofen!!).

I think my family thought that I was a little nuts, like I was purposely overfeeding him or indulging him too much. My dad asked if the doctor had talked to me about whether I should feed him whenever he was hungry or try to make him wait a little. Say what? And my stepmom said the dreaded words, "You could supplement." No no no. I didn't get into it, but no. Growth spurts have two purposes for breastfeeding duos: all that eating makes the baby grow fast, of course, but it also gives mom extra stimulation to bump up her milk to the next level so she'll make enough for this bigger baby. Supplementing would totally defeat the purpose, and anyway Miles is doing great. He just cries to be fed, it's not like he's colicky.

So I have my postpartum checkup on Tuesday and then two weeks later back to work. I actually worked yesterday a little. I got this job and had intended to just set my assistant up and leave her to do the job on her own. The trouble is, she is not competent or capable of doing it at all. I'm frustrated with her and with myself for overpaying her when it's become obvious that she's really not that good. I've been going in (bringing Miles) and supervising every day and finally I just picked up a trowel and did a wall myself. Easing back in I guess.