A Night in the Life

Just when I thought I was kind of getting the hang of the whole breastfeeding thing, Miles throws me a curveball - growth spurt! We had a wonderful 24 hour period during which he ate every 2-3 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night. Very manageable.

Then suddenly he started nursing every 2 hours on the dot (if not sooner) right around the clock. He's having more trouble getting back to sleep, needs to be held constantly, preferably walked around too, and then when we wakes up again he wakes up with an angry holler, like, OMG I'M STARVING IT'S BEEN NINETY MINUTES SINCE I LAST ATE ANYTHING!!!!

I was doing okay with this, but I must have nursed through a bad latch or two because I've developed a monstrous crack in my right nipple. It looks like the Grand Canyon in miniature. And it HURTS when he nurses on it. And for some reason I have more pain, in general, at night and the wee hours of the morning. And Miles is still eating every two hours. So last night got a bit rough.

Now, I know that none of this is a true hardship. We have a healthy, adorable, good little baby and he's not a high-needs infant by any stretch of the imagination. This is all routine newborn stuff. But still, I will paint you a picture of a less successful night in the life with baby.

On the weekend I get to sleep in my own bed again, with my husband. I enjoy this; Miles does not seem to quite as much. When we're upstairs he either sleeps in the pack & play, which is very hit or miss, or with me (yes, we bed share sometimes), which is about as successful. (What he really likes, of course, is what is least comfy for Mommy: sleeping in my arms while I am sitting on the couch. And I do put myself through that torture if it helps him sleep.)

I've gotten good enough at the basic mechanics of breastfeeding that I can now do a reasonable job of getting him latched on while sitting in bed with the lights off, without a Boppy (I feel like a kid ditching my training wheels!). I still try to minimize the disturbance to Mr. I even though he doesn't have to work on the weekend. But sometimes the whole dark room middle of the night scenario means Miles does his sleepy eating thing. And when we're creeping toward 3 am, it's hard to hang with a baby who wants to eat for an hour. Especially when you know he'll want to eat again an hour after that.

(This is something I didn't know before having a baby. When someone says a baby eats every 2 hours, they mean 2 hours from the start of one feeding to the start of the next. So if a newborn takes 45 minutes to an hour to eat, as they often do, you have ONE HOUR off until the next feeding. This is how sleep deprivation happens!)

So, last night the second night of growth spurt feedings and the sleep deprivation and the challenges of nursing in bed and the self-imposed pressure of not wanting to drive Mr. I crazy all night snowballed into major frustration. The night started out okay, but then at about 2 am Miles tried to nurse and fell asleep. I put him down and he fussed and fussed. I tried to soothe him back to sleep, finally tried to nurse again on my screaming nipples at 3am, he ate for a while, fell back asleep for a little bit but then started fussing and fussing again.

I tried holding him and he peed right through his diaper, clothing, blanket, me, and all over the bed, down to the mattress - in a split second! Mr. Ibis got up and changed him. I was too tired to strip the bed, so we just peeled back the sheet and put towels underneath and on top of it for the time being. I tried to soothe Miles back to sleep again, and may have even nursed again I don't remember, but he just wouldn't sleep. His eyelids were drooping, but he was fighting it, and I started to lose my cool. Normally I don't really mind when he's fussy, but I was so unbelievably tired I just couldn't deal.

Mr. I got up and took him downstairs so I could sleep a little. I didn't think I'd be able to do it knowing Miles was probably crying and might be hungry again, but I did fall asleep. Only to have miserable dreams that Mr. Ibis wanted to divorce me and I had nowhere to live. Still, I got a little bit more precious sleep! Finally Mr. I brought him back because he was making "the booby face," and I nursed yet again, put him down and he actually laid quietly for a while, then fussed, I picked him up to snuggle with me, and - voila! - he peed all over the bed AGAIN, in a new spot this time.

At that point we just gave up and got out of bed. Nothing a cup of coffee or two can't fix at least temporarily. I do hope the growth spurt will be over soon, for the sake of my nips if nothing else.