Meeting of the Mommies

I'm going to a meetup today at a park. It's a group that was originally founded around an interest in homebirth but was expanded to include parents interested in "natural life" in general. There aren't a lot of meetup groups in my city so this was kind of the closest I could find to like-minded people in my area, but I'm afraid I won't click with them very well.

I see infant-parenting as a kind of long spectrum, with the people who CIO in the crib as early as possible and don't want to hold the baby too much at one end, and the babywearing extended breastfeeders on the other end. This group is definitely at the far extreme of the latter end, and while I lean in their direction, I feel I'm fairly close to the middle. Some of the topics that come up on the board, I have to admit, make me roll my eyes. Just as I suspect some La Leche members were rolling their eyes when they saw my 4 week old sucking on a pacifier (there is some overlap between LLL and the meetup group in membership).

One eye-roller for me was a discussion about the "continuum concept," which states that one should have their baby in constant physical contact with the mother for as long as possible and until the baby voluntarily begins to crawl around on its own. Because, of course, this is the path to greater self-esteem and attachment. Now, as I've said I do bed share and I own and use three different baby carriers. But I don't understand why some people have to take this to extremes. My baby happens to like being put down sometimes. He doesn't want constant physical contact. I believe that just as some mothers feel "touched out" at times, some babies do too. Miles has his days where he wants to be held constantly, but he also has days where he enjoys some time sitting in a chair looking AT me instead of being attached to me, or just talking to his toys. Time spent on the floor is time to explore their bodies and what they can do. I think constant holding and baby wearing doesn't give them any time to be physically free and in tune with their own bodies. But that's just my opinion.

I can't even imagine wearing Miles for a whole day. He enjoys being in the carrier or sling for an hour at the most but then he starts to squirm. Nevertheless, I'm totally afraid of being judged (don't love that about myself) so I'm going to wear him in the sling to this meetup. God forbid I bring a stroller (shudder!). Man I feel like I'm revisiting junior high today. I'll report back on how it goes.