I was excited to read this one, but boy am I glad I just borrowed it from the library instead of buying it. The introduction is great - Calhoun says she has learned that reading a thousand parenting manuals just makes you crazy and if you love your kid and trust your instincts a little you'll be fine. Everyone is different and there are many paths to raising a happy, healthy child. There is no one right answer to any parenting question.
Sounds wonderful!
But from there she just proceeds to basically boast about how she has so much common sense and right-on parenting instinct that she is basically doing everything right and all the nutjobs around her are raising a bunch of neurotic spoiled brats. Um, seriously? Ada, did you have someone else write the introduction for you? Fess up.
She does confess that she enjoys going to the playground and hanging out with her parent-friends talking crap about everyone else on the playground. Which is pretty much all this book is. Now, I enjoy talking crap about as much as the next person, so I did read the entire book with about the same kind of interest as I will look at pictures of celebrity cellulite in a copy of US Weekly. But let's face it, talking smack about other mothers and snickering at celebrities' bikini bodies always leaves you with a bad taste in your mouth because, well, there for a lack of paparazzi - or Ada Calhoun's judgy glare - go I.
Some snippets of wisdom from Calhoun include (and I paraphrase):
*OMG, can you believe people spend $1000 on a stroller? That is so overboard, and they are such brand whores. I only spent $100 on a Maclaren Volo, $20 on a sling, $5 on a Baby Bjorn, $50 on a Jeep carrier, $65 on a Chicco stroller, and $17 on a K-mart stroller. I am so much more down to Earth and practical!
*OMG people who don't let their kids watch TV are so cute. I mean, that's awesome and everything, but we let our kid watch TV every day and he's totally fine, so whatevs.
*We live in New York City and everyone in New York LOVES my kid. He is SO CUTE.
*OMG can you believe people who have kids argue about who does what? That's soooo sad. OMG, everyone should just chill and get along. My husband and I are awesome.
*Sometimes I take my adorable perfect child to the playground and other kids are mean to him. Can you believe that? I want to punch them. And their moms are total bitches so it makes total sense. I'm so glad my son is very polite and I am such a nice person!
*You should just listen to your pediatrician's opinion on everything. Seriously, you are not a doctor. I do everything my pediatrician says because I'm super smart.
*OMG why do people make such a big deal about where their kids to school??? People are crazy! Our son goes to a totally perfect school. It's so in demand that it's like hard to get into now. But everyone should just chill and send their kid wherever!!
*OMG why do people make such a huge deal about breastfeeding! Formula is totally fine! I breastfed for a year and wore my baby in a sling but not because I'm one of those people, just because I am naturally awesome without even trying to be!
*OMG people name their kids the weirdest things! What the hell! We named our kid Oliver and we have a totally cute story behind it, but like the others kids on playground have the WORST NAMES!
*I give my kid junk food and tons of snacks and I ate turkey when I was pregnant... why can't everyone just be laid back and cool like me???
Anyway. I could go on, because that is kind of fun, but you get the picture. It's like every snide know-it-all on the Bu.mp rolled into one person who happens to run a website so she gets to write a book. The content isn't so much "do whatever's right for you," but "do whatever's right for you as long as I don't think it's totally stupid and lame because I am the world arbiter of common sense." I kept leafing to the bio photo on the back and kind of wanting to claw her eyes out. It's not that much of her advice-cloaked-as-not-advice is particularly objectionable, it's just that tone.
Section after section takes place on the playground, where Calhoun seems to spend a LOT of time sitting around judging people, whenever she is not strolling down the street as all the neighbors fawn over her perfect, angelic son. What really kills me is that she has gotten lost on the way to Self-Awaria and apparently perceives herself as this totally chill, nonjudgmental nice lady rather than the back-biting finger-pointing two-faced sanctimonious asshole she really is. I mean, I could almost sort of get behind a book that was like, "Hey, I'm a bitch and I know it so let me tell you what I think." At least it would be honest and live up to its promise, on which front this book is a colossal, disappointing failure. I am still waiting for someone else to write a book that's actually about instinctive parenting.
1 comment:
Wow, sounds very disappointing - won't be picking that one up. But I got a chuckle out of your recap so that's worth something, right?!
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