It's been a whirlwind lately. Mom left on Monday morning, Tuesday I had Miles home with me and he was so clingy he took ALL of his naps in my arms/sling, then yesterday he went to daycare and Mr. Ibis and I had a date day. We had coffee, went window shopping, had lunch, and... other stuff. Yes, my friends, that's what passes for a date these days: walking through Scheels making fun of the home decor. Why do they sell home decor? I guess because that's the only place you can get a chandelier made out of antlers or a ceramic bear who will hold your wine bottle for you.
Mom's visit was short and sweet, but I (no surprises here) had some anxiety about the whole deal. I know how absurd this sounds, but I was afraid that my mom wouldn't like Miles. Sure she'd love him, but I worried she'd find him too spirited, too rambunctious, too boyish. I know she wanted to be here when he was born, to snuggle a squishy newborn, but now he is strong and big and spunky and wants to go go go. I think he's perfectly perfect but I feared she would not.
My heart melted into a puddle of goo at the airport when she first walked up to us and took Miles into her arms - he looked at her closely and nuzzled his face against her. He's never done that to anyone but me or Mr. I, at any time let alone upon meeting them! It was amazingly adorable... could he possibly know she was family - did she remind him of me somehow?
I was feeling very insecure about my mothering skills when Mom arrived, which was silly of me, because although my mom was a good mom it's not like she was some paragon of perfection whose example I could never hope to equal. She's not the type to overtly criticize me but I feared she was silently judging me. I gave Miles carrots for dinner the first night, a la baby led solids, and he gagged on almost every bite. Huge fail. That night he came down with a cold and kept waking up crying all night, which made me all panicky and then caused Mr. Ibis and I to bicker, and agggghhh it was bad.
But as time went on I started feeling more confident that I knew what I was doing. My mom kept saying Miles was teething but I knew he had a cold, because he was congested and I was coming down with a cold myself. I could tell the difference in his voice when he was stuffed up and sick. She questioned at one point whether he needed another nap, as he was fussing while they tried to play, but I knew he was tired - I took him and held him and he went out in a minute flat. It's not that I was competing with my mother but it made me feel good to see plainly that I do kind of know what I'm doing after all. Being alone with a baby, you're never really sure if you're doing anything "right." But bring in a third party who doesn't know the baby as well and it tends to highlight your own competence a bit.
As the weekend wore on the situation got more comfortable. My mom talked to me about her life, and I started feeling less tense. I relaxed enough to - not ask for advice exactly, but suss out her thoughts on the whole big topic of Sleep. She basically just told me that all babies are different and there isn't much rhyme or reason to their sleeping habits. She said that I napped regularly right through my kindergarten year. Meanwhile my younger brother was completely DONE with napping by the age of six months. He took ZERO naps all day but then slept through the night. She was so frazzled she asked a friend, a mother of four, for advice, and that friend told her all babies were different! So there you have it.
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