Activities

My sister-in-law was visiting for a few days so we've had a few kind of crazy evenings of cramming in dinners and baths and going to bed way too late. We did some things I would ordinarily say "no" to but made special exceptions for this week. Like coming over to eat dinner much later than we usually eat, and going out to a pumpkin patch when we would normally be commencing our bedtime routine for Miles. I feel guilty keeping him out an hour, almost two hours past his normal bedtime, but on the bright side he does fall asleep like a dream on such evenings - no "overtired" phenomenon around here. I put him down and he's out.

One thing that Mr. Ibis and I agree on is that we don't want to be one of those families who are so overscheduled that we never sit down to normal family dinners, are constantly running from activity to activity, and put our kids to bed way too late because after activities and homework and somehow eating something for dinner, it's practically midnight. We see other people living that kind of lifestyle and want no part of it. I know some readers with older children are probably snickering at me, but let me assure you, we are just lazy enough to stick to this plan.

On our anniversary we went to a restaurant in an upscale-ish shopping plaza and afterward walked by all the storefronts talking and holding hands (this is the Midwestern version of walking around the city streets, haha). One of the buildings was some kind of baseball batting cage giant sports doohickey and it was PACKED at 8:00 at night. On a Wednesday. There was a steady stream of children entering the building with their parents. Who brings their kids to batting practice at 8pm on a school night? The same people who bring them to a pumpkin patch at 8pm on a school night, I suppose... and there were plenty of those, too, this week. I try not to be too judgy about other people's parenting but this to me is pure insanity. I don't understand how children get any sleep doing stuff like this night after night. I don't even like to go out at night during the week, let alone drag my baby/kid out with me.

I'm sure we'll have to paddle against the current of peer pressure from other parents and kids, and maybe Miles asking to do this and that, but Mr. Ibis and I both feel strongly that we have to set limits. The specifics will come later but we're thinking maybe one sport per school year... trying to schedule things for after school and not after dinner. Whatever, we'll have to play it by ear.

Even before we get to that point, I don't feel a need to be up to our eyeballs in activities. My sister-in-law has a preschooler and has every day of the week packed with at least one class for her and the kid. Like, these aren't even activities where she can drop him off and get some time to herself. I guess some people prefer to be busy but I'm not one of them. I think there is great value in downtime. I remember my mom always saying when we were kids, "every day can't be a three ring circus," which of course annoyed me then but makes sense to me now. I feel that when you set kids up to expect TONS OF FUN every day, not only do you become a slave to capital-A activities, but you never let them just get bored, and call me old-fashioned, but a certain measure of boredom has to be good. I want Miles to have time to himself to use his imagination and fill up boring hours will make-believe and games. Or else I will GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DO, hahaha.

Again I'm sure some preschooler moms are rolling their eyes at me... yeah, I know a bored child can be very annoying. But I think they must only become MORE annoying if you create the expectation for them that every day is going to be really fun. Because it's not. Some days are ordinary, and I think it's an important lesson for kids that that's just part of life too.

Feel free to vengefully shove this post up my arse in a couple of years. Ha!