Boobs & Things

My hair is unusually fluffy and glossy and lovely lately. When I mentioned this to Mr. I he had the same disconcerting thought that I had: "Are you pregnant? Have you taken a test?" Um, noooo, geesh. Don't scare me. Thanks to Miles's frequent night nursing (there is an upside!) I have still not gotten my period, and we have definitely been using contraception, but of course with Aunt Flo out of town there is always that what if feeling. I should probably buy some tests just to have on hand.

I would certainly be overjoyed to have another babe, but hopefully not right now. It would be a financial catastrophe at this moment - we need more time to prepare. I'm sure we'd manage, and I'm sure we'd end up excited about a pregnancy anyway, but it would be better to wait. We were thinking maybe when Miles turns two we'll have our ducks in a row. Don't want to wait too long due to our ages.

I haven't mentioned it in a while but I am still breastfeeding exclusively (that is, not counting solid food). Just before our trip I was getting pretty burnt out on night nursing and night wakings, and considering switching to formula during the night. My theory was that maybe if I removed the comfort-boob part of the equation he wouldn't want to wake up and eat as often. But I figured I would just wait on that until after the trip, because the boob is so convenient it would be easier to nurse while traveling.

And then two things happened: one, the trip reset my frustration meter. After being a solo mommy for a full week I realized that waking up to nurse a few times a night wasn't really that hard and I could probably hang in there. That this is a short period of time in my life and it won't last forever and I'll miss my little squirmy baby when he's a big boy.

And two, though I hate to put this in writing, he's been sleeping a little better. We've done a few six hour stretches since we got home. Last night, though still a little boogery, he slept awesome and only woke up once.

(Although, seriously? I have a night-diaper problem. Even when he doesn't nurse a bunch of times, we have frequent diaper leaks and it's driving me bonkers to change pajamas and sheets a few times a week. What the eff, H.uggies. I change him once during the night and still get a leak in the morning!!)

And actually, a third but smaller factor is that big Similac recall. Just when I was considering going part-formula, that was a little unnerving.

So boobs it is. I'm not sure when I'll wean but I'll play it by ear.

Although, here is a confession: I don't LOVE breastfeeding. It's been a long time since I've had one of those little calm babies that would quietly and sleepily nurse in my arms. Since he was about three months old it's more like nursing a baby wolverine that wants to take my boob with him on a sprint through the forest (or wherever wolverines run around). I would describe our nursing sessions as more "wrangling" than "bonding." But I do like the convenience, the health benefits, the cost, etc., so there you have it.