Advocacy

I was proud of myself yesterday: it was the first time yet I have said "I am pregnant and I need help" (well, to anyone besides my husband). I've always been terrible about asking for help; I think the reason is that I don't trust my own judgment about when help is needed and when I can figure it out for myself. I always err on the side of trying to do it alone, even when that turns out to be the wrong choice.

Yesterday I did a small job for another finisher and my instructions were to find the trim paint already at the house and use that to paint some railings. When I found it, the can said it was lacquer (bad sign) and when I popped the top, it smelled very strong. I needed to pour some out to see if that was the paint, but I knew I shouldn't. I hesitated for a few long minutes, and then I looked over at some random contractor who was working nearby. I called out, "Hey, could you do me a favor? I'm pregnant and I'm not supposed to inhale these fumes, will you pour some of this paint into a bucket for me?" And he did. Was that so hard? No. But I've never done it before! My first instinct was to do it myself, and then I know I would have panicked for the next month until my ultrasound.

I still smelled it a little for a few minutes, but I feel I was as safe as I could be. I called the finisher and told her I couldn't use that paint, and she told me I could go buy regular latex paint instead. Done and done.

I'm so bad about advocating for myself, sometimes I think that I am kind of the ideal candidate for hiring a doula. But we're trying hard to keep our costs down and I know that's not going to happen (not to mention, I actually looked up local doula resources, and there is ONE in our entire state, and she has attended ONE birth!!). I wish I had a girlfriend I could ask to be there for me and play a doula-like role, but I don't, not locally. My mother-in-law is more timid than me, so that wouldn't work. My mom, if she makes it into town for the birth, is also a very shy person and I know will/would be very emotional. I realized yesterday that the perfect person would probably be my stepmom. She's outspoken, level-headed, and a good communicator; she had to have C-sections for both of her babies (the first one an emergency CS after a bad labor), but I know she would be able to speak up for me in ways I wouldn't be able to do myself. I don't think that she and my dad are actually going to make it here for the birth, but I don't know... if they do, I may ask her to be there. But then, maybe my mom would freak out - hm.

Anyway, Mr. Ibis and I are going to take a childbirth class together sometime this fall and he will do his best to help me have the birth experience I want. I know he'll be emotional and overwhelmed, but he knows how important it is to me to have a natural birth if it's at all possible. I'm also going to take a "Breastfeeding and Back to Work" class the hospital offers, since I have been learning about how important breastfeeding classes are if you want to be able to stick to it through the potential pitfalls.

These things are on my mind because I've been listening to a really fun and informative podcast with a terribly cheesy name - Pregtastic Pregnancy, free on itunes. The title sounds awful and the opening voiceover will also make you queasy if you aren't already, but the content itself is great. The hosts are a revolving panel of pregnant women, with guests ranging from lactation experts to ordinary dads-to-be talking about a variety of pregnancy and baby related topics. It has its silly moments, but it's not overly chirpy & self-indulgent like some pregnancy websites and books can be.