Doula

I was depressed all day yesterday. I know that's a bit overdramatic, and I'm sure some of it was just due to not enough sleep, but the crampy morning totally threw me for a loop. I was sad to see my fresh new attitude of confidence and power was so vulnerable to the slightest breeze of worry. I was overwhelmed with the pressure of being completely and totally responsible for our son's life. It is what it is I suppose. I slept fitfully last night, especially toward morning, dreaming that I was cramping and then half-waking to verify that in fact I was not. I think that my issue may in fact be the completely normal and harmless round ligament pain that for me seems to manifest as period-like cramps; I had it once before at 15 weeks in exactly the same way - painful very early in the morning, and a bit achy and sore as the day wore on.

But I don't want to dwell on that forever. I feel fine today.

I tried to go to sleep early last night and I was just drifting off when my cell phone rang... Mr. Ibis knew it might be the doula who was supposed to call us so he answered it and brought it to me. I was annoyed initially, but then I was glad I did speak with her.

She sounded young and cheerful and friendly, and explained that she is a licensed massage therapist who trained to do prenatal and infant massage and then became interested in being a doula as well. She has about 8 months of training so far as a doula. For anyone who doesn't know, a doula is essentially a labor coach... but rather than just having your husband as a labor coach, the advantage of a doula is her experience and wealth of knowledge - she knows a lot of tricks for pain management and relief - different positions, pressure points, massage techniques, breathing patterns, and so on. And another crucial function is that she can be an advocate for you in the delivery room, making sure that the nurses and doctor know what your preferences are, making sure you're not pressured to do an epi if you don't want one, and so on. In each of those areas she takes all the pressure off of the mother and also off of the husband/partner, so that he can just be there, relax if he needs to, and be part of the birth without worrying about all the details.

So, this doula is definitely not offering free services. She charges $350, which includes two prenatal meetings, the delivery, one postpartum visit, and also a massage either before or after birth (whenever you want). The cost is why I initially was not even looking into doula services. But Mr. I is encouraging me to go ahead - he feels that it's worth it. And he's probably right. In every birth story I've ever heard or read (and I've made a hobby of it) that includes a doula, the couple is always extremely happy that they used one. Particularly after the discomfort I felt over refusing something as simple as a flu shot, I can clearly see how having an advocate in the delivery room would help me. And I know that Mr. I is nervous about the birth and wouldn't enjoy having to call the shots or be in charge so he would appreciate the doula too. Another way to think about it is that we can spend $350 and have a good shot at a natural birth... or just wing it and have a good shot at either an epidural or emergency C-section that will cost a lot more. It looks like we're going to go ahead and meet with her soon to secure our due date.