30 weeks (and 2 days)

30 weeks... wow! I feel so close and so far away at the same time.

Baby's growth is slowing now, and I can tell. Second trimester was explosive as far as growth is concerned but in the last two weeks I have definitely noticed that my belly is now just inching along, and so has Mr. Ibis. Baby is fattening up now but not growing longer very quickly. He's now 17 or 18 inches long from head to foot, which is rather amazing to think about when I look at my body, and probably curled up in a fetal position or sitting lotus style in there. I can't say that I am very good about locating body parts... the butt is the easiest thing to identify because it's big and hard, and from there I can only assume that his foot is kicking me on the upper right and I feel his hands kind of tickling me down low sometimes. Can't wait to spy on him again in a couple of weeks!

My back hurt again last night but I think I have figured out why. It doesn't have to do with sleeping, but rather with sitting on the couch the night before. I need to sit upright, facing forward, with my feet up or legs crossed. If I try to lie on the couch or sit with my legs to the side it tweaks my back badly. The reason I was getting more back pain this week was because I was sitting up on the couch late, sometimes falling asleep for a little while, watching the World Series with Mr. I. Mystery solved, I do believe.

I got a new take on Braxton Hicks from my doula. When I mentioned to her in an email that I was having a lot of them, her response was, "that's great! Your uterus will be so toned from all those Braxton Hicks contractions, maybe you will sleep through half your labor." It's funny how the medical community and natural birthing community sometimes see things so differently. I'm more than happy to go along with the idea that my ute is just limbering up. I've certainly been worrying about it less lately.

Now I have a confession: I am a registry stalker. Sometimes my intent is innocent and I go in there to add or revise something. But sometimes I just go to see if anyone bought anything. My shower was postponed until a week from Thursday but invitations went out, not only to Mr. I's family who are local, but my friend sent them to my family who are not. And someone bought the pack and play! I'm so excited. Since that's where baby's going to sleep for the first few months, that was the thing we most needed after getting the car seat. I'm actually feeling a little more excited about my shower knowing that we're going to get a bunch of presents. Is that bad?

I still feel good and have energy for most of the day. I feel very blessed in that regard. Early on in my pregnancy it scared me to even think about whether I could work until the end. Financially I need to work as long as I can, but I've always been aware that anything could happen. Placenta previa, pre-e, even just run of the mill feeling huge and uncomfortable. I've been so lucky and feel so good.

In a weird way I'm already starting to feel nostalgic about pregnancy even though it's almost over (sort of... two months left). When I go to the OB's office now and see women walking out of the back with their first appointment goodie bags and huge grins, I feel so excited for them. I know I can't change anything about it but sometimes I do kind of wish that I hadn't spent so much of it feeling anxious, because it has been a good experience from me aside from worrying about the baby being okay in there. When I see posts on SAL from girls who are not as far along, especially when they're already in second tri but still feeling so insecure, I want to tell them - it's going to be okay! Be happy! Enjoy this! But I know how impossible it is to just do that, so I don't say it. At least I can enjoy what I have left of pregnancy. Feeling the baby move every day, washing baby clothes and arranging the nursery, daydreaming with my husband about what our son will be like. I can't wait to hold him in my arms but I will enjoy the time I have left with my "inside baby."

What I'm Really Wearing: There's nothing special about this outfit but I wanted to share that this is a pre-pregnancy shirt! This is why I tell pregnant girls to Shop at Charlotte Russe. I think this top probably cost me about $15. It's true that I am pushing the boundaries of the boob space, but my belly is totally covered, and with a sweater thrown over this I'm good to go at 30 weeks!