Burnout

Physically I'm still going pretty strong, but mentally my work is starting to wear on me. It's hard to explain, really, but since I see this sort of complaint from third trimester women fairly often I think it must be a common experience. Maybe it's some kind of primal battle between maternal hormones that are narrowing my focus and my normal, working-woman brain that still has to bang away at my job. All I really want to do right now is have a baby, and I feel frustrated by having to deal with colleagues, coworkers, assistants, and clients every day. I feel like I'm going through the motions with all that stuff.

Last night after I got up to pee and waddled back to bed, I was suddenly struck by stress about a work issue and I could not get to sleep. As I tossed and turned, my husband lightly snored (ugh), and I obsessed about this stupid work problem. For a while I was sure that I wasn't going to get another minute of sleep all night. I recognized that I was stressing all out of proportion to the problem but I couldn't stop. Finally I decided to try to mentally walk myself through a hypnobirthing meditation (I've been listening to the relaxation track every other day again), and almost as soon as I started, I was out cold. Thank god.

I told Mr. Ibis last night how I was feeling and he was awesome in his response. He said he understood, and he felt bad that I was still having to work so hard right now, but it was really helping us and for that he is thankful. It's amazing how much a little appreciation and sympathy can soothe the soul.

So, I've taken on another new job before delivery - a nice small furniture project - and have another one in the pipe but not on the books. Every dollar counts right now so I'll keep going. But I am going to enjoy my maternity leave SO MUCH.