Random Thoughts

I'm feeling a little down and I'm not sure why. It's not PPD... just a very mild mush of ennui, overwhelmed-ness, and a tinge of sad. Being back to work is going fine but I'm not enjoying it. Miles is doing great in daycare but it still makes me sad that he's in someone else's care at such a young age. And I miss my husband, who's been away every other day & night for over a week. And I'm almost positive I have a UTI but we still don't have health insurance so I'm totally stressing that I'm going to get kidney infection because I can't see a doctor right now. Anyway...

Usually when I pick up Miles at daycare Judy meets me at the door with him in her arms. Yesterday she led me back to the nursery room to get him. She had just finishing feeding him and he was still strapped into a bouncy chair on the floor. Somehow the sight of him there in that chair in someone else's house filled me with emotion, I'm not even sure what emotion it was, or why. Loss? Almost as though, at two months, he was already becoming independent of me. I know he's not, but I suppose it was a kind of foreshadowing and it shook me a little.

On a less morose note, he's been babbling a lot and it's so fun to "talk" with him. He has the cutest range of vocalizations, oohs, ahs, and sighs. He gives me this smile where he wrinkles his nose and grins at me - it just kills me. He's also stuffing his hands into his mouth and trying to suck on his fingers, which I've heard (don't know if it's true) is a sign of big developmental leaps soon to come.

My dad teased me that I must be the only person with more photos of their kid than him. Mr. Ibis had the idea that we should take a photo of Miles every day. But he's so damn cute that one photo quickly turns into 5, 10, 15 per day. I try to go through and edit, but they're all so adorable I have trouble deleting any. I even save some of the blurry ones when they capture a good expression!