Mush

Miles is still working on self-soothing strategies and falling asleep without (too much) crying. I help out by singing, jiggling, kissing, doing Cookie Monster impersonations. He rolls around, sucks on his binky, nurses, cuddles, whines. Sometimes when he seems very sleepy but trapped in the whiny stage I will kneel over him and cup his head in my hands to kiss his face - he smiles beatifically like a little buddha and loves to be kissed. Sometimes he hum-talks himself to sleep with his eyes closed and his binky in his mouth, which might be the cutest thing ever. Second cutest might be what he did last night, which was pet my hair until he fell asleep. Even though for him petting involves some painful yanking, it still melted me into mush. When I was a wee thing I self-soothed by sucking my thumb while twirling my mom or dad's hair, or my own once I had some hair, so maybe Miles will be a hair-twirler too.

Although the days of cuddling a swaddled burrito of a newborn have their own flavor of bliss, I'm really enjoying it as Miles gets older, learning all the time, revealing new facets of personality, becoming more interactive. In the last few weeks I've felt for the first time some reciprocity of affection from him, which is just an amazing feeling. Not just that he smiles when he sees me but he'll lay his head against me while I carry him, or caress my face as I nurse him. His sense of humor delights me, like the way he will laugh sometimes if I just shoot him a poker face and raise my eyebrows - how fascinating that he is amused by something like that!

My mom should be coming in a week and a half. I think? I haven't heard from her since she mentioned the dates of her visit. She's totally going to cry. Mr. I thinks that on the night he's working out of town I should have my mom come put Miles to bed with me, so she can see how cute and funny he is as he tries to fall asleep (that is, when he is not having a meltdown!).