So because I am a big ball of bleh here's a bullet point list for you today:
- Miles is mobile. Not crawling yet, but might as well be. He's perfected a forward maneuver that looks sort of like the breakdancing move known as The Worm, and combined with his existing Turning and Backing Up capabilities, he can go pretty much wherever he wants to go. And you know that one of the first places he wanted to go was Over To The Electrical Socket To Stick His Fingers In It. So, yeah. Time to start child proofing!
- Of course as soon as I posted about him falling asleep without rocking, that ability vanished. Last night was super horrible and involved a half hour of crying and screaming, a fight with Mr. Ibis, and me sleeping on the loveseat so that Miles could sleep in the swing until Mr. I got up for work. Good times.
- My niece said "epic fail" on F.acebook today which I think is pretty much the death knell of that phrase, just so you know. When it makes its way down to the 8th grade I think adults officially have to stop saying it.
- I've been working pretty hard at revitalizing my business. I am redoing my portfolio. I redesigned my website (which involved hours of brain-exploding fun with various tech support phone lines), and I enlisted a friend with sales experience to help me market my wares better. Currently I have a big bid sitting out there in Bid Land, and I'm sick with anticipation. Getting this job would mean approximately two months of financial stress relief, which is pretty much the way I see my work. Not getting it would be a colossal disappointment and express ticket to Panic City.
- I have this terrible fear that if I do not protect Mr. Ibis from the more unsightly and unpleasant aspects of parenthood, like babies who cry at bedtime and do not allow you to eat, poop, or sleep when nature calls but rather at their own convenience, he's going to rethink this whole parenting thing. Like he's going to suddenly be like, "You know what? This kid is cute but just totally cramping my style." And then... what? I mean I know he will always love Miles, but I guess maybe not like him, is my fear? And then maybe not want to have another one, which I'm not 100% sure I want to do but am 100% sure I don't want to rule it out yet?
- I think I want a second kid in about 18 months or so, but I'm scared. Scared for my body. And specifically for my lady parts. Scared to tear even worse than last time. And when I think about that I end up thinking about this: I got a second degree, borderline third degree tear when I had Miles. I know that women who haven't had children are totally horrified by the whole notion of tearing your vag and can hardly believe that anyone could go through such an experience and live to talk about it, but here's the thing. Tearing during natural childbirth is like being hit by a car while crossing the street, and then while you are lying in the street, bleeding, with two broken legs and a head wound, a dog wanders over and bites you in the face. So when people are like, "Wow, you were bitten in the face by a dog, oh my god, didn't that HURT?!" you're sort of like, "Um... yeah, I guess so." Of course, later when you can walk and think coherently again you might be a little jumpy around dogs. And that's pretty much how I feel about letting another kid pass through there.
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