Cookies: Taste Better Than Crow

"That's cookie under his nose, not boogers." This is a sentence I recently found myself uttering as a way of explaining that Miles did not have a cold, just a teething biscuit mustache.

Motherhood is really awesome at making you eat your words... or at least, the secret judgy little thoughts you had pre-motherhood. I, for one, never understood why people let their children go about in polite society with food on their faces. What, were they lazy? Just gross? As it turns out, wiping the face of a certain type of spirited youngster is a process akin to trimming the toenails of a wolverine (and let's not even talk about trimming the toenails of the spirited youngster!). As it turns out, usually you just kind of swipe at the face area with a wet cloth and run away.

We've been giving Miles blueberries with his Cheerios for breakfast, which is great because they are healthy and he loves them, but they are also very purple. Purple face, purple hands, and frequently he likes to give himself a blueberry juice hair treatment during breakfast, so we get purple head too. I typically take care of the face and head, but scrubbing purple juice out of his cuticles? Ain't gonna happen, folks.

Those teething biscuits? He loves them. But here's something I did not realize: they start out hard and crunchy, turn into a cookie paste while being chewed, and then rapidly harden again into cookie cement. Wiping cookie cement off a baby wolverine's face is not easy. I'm thinking it could be featured on Dirty Jobs in the near future.

That's to say nothing of the cookie paste that is now often smeared on my clothes, skin, and in my hair. When you see a small, adorable baby wolverine coming at you covered in cookie, grinning and wanting to snuggle, you... just give him a big hug. Cookie be damned.

Thus the dilemma I sometimes find myself in these days: do I venture out of the house looking like I was in food fight, can I hide the smears with a well placed scarf, or I actually have to UGH change my clothes, making more dirty laundry for myself to clean UGH? Scarf. Scarf all the way. Pashminas are so forgiving.