I'm Superman!

I'm not usually one to use Oprahisms, but lately I'm beginning to think that there is such a thing as an "authentic self."

Most people spend adolescence figuring out who they are, but then somewhere in adulthood many of us lose ourselves in a totally absent-minded way, like leaving your phone on the counter at a coffee shop and three hours later wondering where the hell it is.

Recently in a minor online interaction I found myself explaining to someone, under my real name and address, explaining that I was also "ibis," and also ECC (my new business... more on that soon). It struck me as I did so that my compartmentalizing of identities was getting a little out of hand. Now I have THREE online personas? What am I doing here?

I jokingly likened myself to Clark Kent. Always careful not to slip up and reveal, especially to Lois, that I am also Superman. But after all what would happen if she knew that he was not only her dependable coworker but also her hero? What was Clark so afraid of?

What am I so afraid of?

Since I launched ECC and thereby my third online identity, I've had to face a truth about myself: I am afraid of rejection. I know, everyone is. But over the years I've concocted this ingenious defense against it: if I always present the most appealing version of me to whomever I'm facing, not only can I increase my chances of being liked by everyone, I can avoid ever exposing the REAL me to the pain of rejection. Brilliant!

Except for the obvious downside: no one ever gets to know or like the real me either. (Well, not ever... usually after a few years, if I have sussed you out enough to believe you'll like the real me, I'll drop the front.) The truth is, most people don't fall in love with a cleverly appealing version of anyone. At a subconscious level, probably, most people can detect a fraud. Even a nice fraud with innocent intentions.

(As an aside, you may be wondering how Mr. Ibis, then, ever fell in love with me. The answer is he totally cornered me, called me out on my BS, and told me to get real. And since I really really liked him, I folded!)

At Ibis & The Unicorn, I have presented you with the real me, except that I've cordoned off things like my real name, too many identifying details, etc. Which still limits me, because I've walled off all the other pieces of me that exist online - my FB page, for example, and now my new business which is also more than a business, it's my artwork too.

Of course all bloggers think about the issue of privacy, but in the FB age, it starts to look a little arbitrary at times. I have my entire identity online now, it's just that it's carved up into little sections, which isn't really privacy, it's just... online multiple personality disorder.

So, to that end, I'm tearing down the walls. And moving. I know it's a bit of a pain in the ass if you follow me via Blogger or another blog feed, and it's an even bigger pain in the ass for me to haul all of your blogs over there with me! But I'm totally excited about this.

And do not worry, my content is not going to change. It's not going to become all about hawking my wares... I'm going to be telling the same stories, but as the real me. So please join me in my new home:

eisforerin.com