New view

Drinking has wreaked utter havoc on my chart. I said I wouldn't do it, but caved. Last week was so stressful that I indulged in ONE beer with dinner on three separate nights. Each morning afterward, my temp shot up. Then on Saturday night, I over-indulged at my friend's 30th and my temp went so high I had to discard it. I don't regret it for one instant, since I had such a fabulous night, but for sure FF is going to be angry with me this cycle. I'm just going to assume my coverline will be drawn too high.

I will cop to taking an OPK test yesterday. I had one left from last cycle's box, so since it was CD13 and that's when I got my positive last time, I gave it a go. It was negative, but I still think I am most likely going to ovulate today or tomorrow. Nevertheless, I'm letting Mr. Ibis and his purported ovulation-sensing powers take the lead this cycle as requested.

I don't know if it's the new strategy, or my total meltdown about last cycle's BFN and subsequent catharsis, or just the healing powers of time, but I'm feeling much more chilled out about TTC now. All of a sudden I do not feel as though I will spontaneously combust if I don't get pregnant THIS CYCLE, NOW NOW NOW. I feel more certain that we will have children in due time. I don't believe in God and his Plan nor am I a fatalist, but I do finally trust that things will play out however they play out and there is little that worrying can do to shape the future.