Yesterday we were just base coating the walls with regular paint, and the smell started to bother me a little, so I put on my mask. But for some reason the mask smelled 1,000 times worse and gave me a headache... I don't know if there were old fumes trapped in it, or if it was just the smell of my own breath? My sense of smell is so distorted. But I had to take it off. I think I've done enough research to reassure myself that I'm being safe at work. My OB has told me it's safe and the worst thing that could happen is the smell makes me queasy. Mayo Clinic says to take precautions, but only long term high level exposure is really dangerous. Safe Fetus says that basically if I am huffing solvents to get high, my baby may be born with something similar to fetal alcohol syndrome, but more casual exposure to paint is fine. I find Safe Fetus to be very conservative - it says to avoid Sudafed, which my doc claims is pregnancy-safe - so I trust their assessment.
The woman I am working with this week has been a coworker and a friend for two and a half years now, but I am just not ready to tell her. I think she'll understand when I finally confess, because she knows about the previous miscarriage. I feel a little bad lying - she asked how we were doing on the baby front, and I said "working on it" - but telling her would start a chain reaction of other work-related people I'd need to tell, and I'm not ready for that yet. It's still just too early. If I can continue to hide it, I plan to wait until my second trimester. And I felt pretty much normal at work yesterday, so I think I can keep it on the DL for a while longer.
So last night just as I was beginning to worry about my lack of sickness, I hit a wall while eating dinner. It's the weirdest thing but it's happened to me a few times. I start a meal feeling great, everything tastes normal and good, and about 3/4 of the way through it's like BAM - stop eating or you'll barf. It's so sudden. Every bite following tastes like hell and makes me want to die, so I just quit and wrap up my leftovers. I had a lime popsicle for dessert, which was GLORIOUS and so soothing to my nauseated tummy... but after that I felt slightly sick until/through bedtime.
And then, I had a tantrum that I still feel embarrassed about today. I went up to bed before Mr. Ibis, because I was tired. I read in bed for about twenty minutes until the words started to blur on the page, and I shut my eyes, drifting toward the delicious edge of sleep. Just then Mr. I burst into the room and he had something other than sleep on his mind... could I gracefully demure? No. I threw a shit fit. Part of my distress came from how much I hate turning him down, but I just ranted about how he should come to bed earlier if that's what he wants to do, and I was just about the fall asleep, and RAWR RAWR RAWR! It was a totally crappy way to go to bed, and I feel bad, even though I apologized this morning. Bleh.
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