I really hate my job sometimes

Change of plans today.

I went in to work and the countertop guys were installing tops in the kitchen and the dining room - where I needed to work. Of course no one told me ahead of time. They said I could come back later, so I went home.

I came back at noon and the place REEKED of epoxy. I don't know why I even thought it might be okay, but I opened the windows and asked the guys if it was okay to breathe. They said, "It's safe, it just smells potent." Great, I put on my mask and tried to work. I made it about 20 minutes and wanted to die, so I left.

I came home and googled "epoxy during pregnancy." OF COURSE, it is not safe. Why would it be? Fuck.

I found this at the CA Dept of Health & Human Services website:

Epoxy resins and curing agents themselves probably do not affect pregnancy and reproduction in humans. However, some of the diluents and solvents in epoxy resin systems may affect reproduction. Two solvents sometimes found in epoxy resin systems (2 ethoxyethanol and 2-methoxyethanol) cause birth defects in laboratory animals and reduced sperm counts in men. Some glycidyl ethers also damage the testes and cause birth defects in test animals. It is not known whether they have the same effects in humans.

Most other solvent additives have not been adequately tested to determine if they affect reproduction. However, we do know that solvents inhaled by a woman can reach a developing fetus and may contaminate the woman's breast milk. They may affect the fetus just as they affect the mother. We recommend that pregnant and nursing women minimize their exposure to solvents, just as they should minimize their exposure to alcohol.

This is somewhat reassuring in that it likens epoxy exposure to alcohol exposure. And it does say "minimize," right, not completely avoid at all costs? So, one beer probably won't hurt a fetus, I am going to assume (hope, pray, cling to the idea desperately) that 20 minutes of exposure to epoxy won't either. But of course, I'm not going to know... until the baby is born. Awesome.

I hate this. I hate this about my job, my life. I can't just stop working, but it's so hard to control the workplace. I have deadlines to meet, and obviously my baby is more important, but then I'm also not ready to announce my pregnancy, so it's hard to explain why I am wearing a mask all the time and why I'm leaving work all the time... it's just so freaking stressful.

I can't decide whether to call the doctor and ask about this or just wait one month until my next appointment. I guess there is nothing she could tell me anyway besides "stay away from that in the future." I am so bummed right now.