July is crazy

Yesterday did suck, but I have lived to see another day. I never did take the toilet tank off, but I tried. It's a pretty simple process in theory but doesn't always work out: you shut off the water, flush the tank, sop up the excess water with towels, then take out three screws in the bottom of the tank. Sounds simple enough, but I got two screws off before meeting the third and final stubburn bastard of a screw that just would not budge, and I had to abort the whole mission. So frustrating... at that point water is getting everywhere, I keep bumping my damn head, and I just want to cry. I'm lucky that pregnancy hasn't made me a weepy mess (yet?) or I would have just about died.

I have to admit that I have bitten off more than I could realistically chew this month. I have packed in a lot of jobs, some pretty labor-intensive. Every job that came my way, I said "yes" and "right away" even if it meant juggling too much at once. I am grossing about $5000 this month, which means netting about $4000, where my average monthly income is closer to $1500.

But here's the thing about July, and this July in particular. This month we have to renew my car registration ($150), start pre-paying for my delivery ($300), and we paid off our 2008 tax bill ($1200). The fact that we could do it all in cash without taking from savings is great, but it's just been crazy. When I think about the fact that if my first baby had stuck I would be about 37 weeks pregnant right now... my god. I don't know how we would have made it.

I don't believe in "meant to be," and I'll never agree that my first baby was not meant to live. And yet, sometimes, I do think about how hard it would have been if I had had that baby. I got pregnant in November, and in January Mr. Ibis had to take a 10% pay cut. Scaling one's lifestyle back by 10% takes some adjustment, and as a result January through March was an incredibly financially difficult time. The hospital would have started billing me $300 a month to pre-pay delivery in February, continuing through tax season and ending in May. My work picked up a lot from May on and so far is peaking in July, but I would have had to take July and August off - my two busiest months of the year. Then as I returned to work, demand would have been falling off for the winter season. Although I so loved the idea of my summer baby, it would have been challenging, to say the least.

We are better situated this time, as I can still work the busy summer, we are paying off and selling one vehicle soon, and I will be taking my maternity leave in the dead of winter when my business is usually slow anyway. Mr. Ibis's company has promised to roll back the pay cut in 2010, which is pretty vague, but hopefully they'll keep their promise sooner rather than later. His one year review in early July was excellent, but of course came without a raise. I do hope they will be able to give him a raise by next July at the latest, but even getting the 10% back will do wonders to our budget. I never realized how much 10% was until it was gone.

I am still worried about making it through late pregnancy and maternity leave without falling into financial distress, but we'll just take it as it comes. Starting a family was more important to us, and we'll just make it work. We have already shown much greater adaptability than I knew was in us, so I'm sure we will make it through somehow.