Fun Times in Labor & Delivery

I will preface this by saying everything is fine.

Yesterday Mr. Ibis and I woke up early and went out for breakfast before attending the Choose a Pediatrician class. We then went grocery shopping and by the time we got home I was wiped. I laid on the couch and fell asleep for at least two hours. For the purpose of my story know that I had drunk two cups of decaf at breakfast and that was it for liquids that morning.

I woke up close to 3pm and had a little water, some toast, and a cup of pregnancy tea. I started getting Braxton Hicks contractions, and seemingly a lot... I wrote down six in an hour and a half and then I decided to take a hot shower, which seemed to relax my body for a while. After my shower I continued to just lay around reading and taking it easy while Mr. I watched football.

He ran out and brought home burritos, and after dinner I felt like I was still having a lot of BH, so I started writing them down again. I got comfortable on the couch and tried to drink water, maybe had about 50 or 60 oz. Between 7 and 8 I had four BH contractions. From 8 to 9 I had four. From 9 to 10 I had four and was starting to get worried. They didn't seem regular but Dr. J had told me "4 or 5 in an hour could be a sign of preterm labor." From 10 to 11 I had four again and finally I decided to just bite the bullet and call the after hours emergency line. I tried to sound casual and say I was just trying to follow the doctor's instructions to call... to my surprise they told me to go right into the hospital.

I told Mr. Ibis and he was totally aggravated. He thought I was being a hypochondriac and did not want to go sit in the ER on a Saturday night (not knowing that they do not having women who are possibly in labor sit in the waiting room!). So we went in a horrible mood, he was annoyed, I felt like a paranoid fool.

I was shocked when they showed me into a room, told me to get into a hospital gown, and that I was being admitted! I expected to just sit on a table and get an ultrasound or something. But I gave them a urine sample (peed ALL over my hand by the way) and got into bed in a johnny. They hooked me up to fetal & contraction monitors and then did what I realized was the preadmission for delivery, which was so bizarre. After asking me a bunch of questions, the nurse looked at the monitors and said I was contracting every 2-3 minutes for 30-45 seconds at a time (I could only feel some of those, and for just a couple of seconds each). But the baby seemed to be doing great - his heart rate was good and he was kicking around.

When she asked me about my water intake she said it sounded like I hadn't had enough, even though my urine was pretty clear by then. She brought me a 32 oz cup of water and told me to chug it in a half hour - she would ask the doctor whether that was enough or I needed IV fluids. I chugged the water quickly, did not want an IV! The ice water made me cold and I started to shiver uncontrollably.

Eventually a doctor came in and explained the whole preterm labor deal and what they had to check for. It's kind of weird talking to doctors when you know way more than they think you do from researching and chatting online... for instance, he said he was going to do "a test" that could tell us whether I was going into labor and I knew it was the fetal fibronectin test even though he wasn't saying that. Meanwhile I was still shivering like a total freak, I don't know if he just thought I was a mental case or what.

Also weird? Getting an internal in front of your husband, by a male doctor no less. When you get an internal in a hospital bed, as opposed to an exam table, there are no stirrups and no way to hang your butt off the bed. So they wrapped a bedpan in a blanket and made me hoist my ass up onto that. There was also no discreet sheet draped over my legs, they just fully jacked up my hospital gown and there you go. So he swabbed my cervix and then did an internal to check for dilation. He briefly made an eyebrows-raised face while feeling my cervix, which, seriously? No facial expressions while touching my cervix, please. For a quick moment I totally freaked. Then he said that "well, it doesn't get much more closed than that" and that it was long and "hard as a rock." WHEW.

So they gave me a shot of terbutaline, which is basically a stress-inducing shot of speed that for some reason relaxes the uterus, and kept me for a little longer to get my FFN test results and make sure my contractions stopped and the terbutaline didn't make my heart race. The nurse left us alone for an hour and I think she must have turned up the heat because I finally started to warm up and feel sleepy. Mr. Ibis read a magazine and I tried to rest. I really missed my dog for some reason. I started getting stressed out about how much all this was going to cost and how little work I've had lately. I kept apologizing to Mr. I but I think because of how seriously the hospital had taken my contractions he no longer though I was just being a nut. Then I had to pee so bad I thought I was going to explode but I was still hooked up to the monitor and couldn't move. I was debating calling the nurse when she finally came back.

The fetal fibronectin test was negative which basically means there is almost no way I'm going into labor at least for the next two weeks. The nurse went over some info about preterm labor and said to drink more water, no strenuous activity or heavy lifting (hm), sex was okay but be aware that it could cause contractions, no nipple stimulation - Mr. Ibis broke in with, "What?? No!!" making the nurse laugh - and that if I feel BH or period-like cramping like that again I should call again. So I guess in their opinion I did the right thing. But I still felt like a bit of a fool.

Honestly, I have had period-like cramping a few times, and I've had days with lots of BH even more often. I think if I actually called every time that happened to me I would be in the hospital once or twice a week. I don't know how that's going to work. But I will try to be a lot better about drinking water, that's for sure. And now I have a nifty 32oz water jug that probably cost a few hundred dollars so I'd better use it.