Baby Steps

I'm really empathizing with Miles right now. I feel like I am a baby learning to walk... scared to fall, nervous about stepping out into space. Tempted to just keep crawling.

There is no reason to rush closing my painting business and getting into childcare. No reason to be hasty at all. But then again, I have NO work coming in to the painting business. We just dipped into savings a little and will have to do it again if I don't bring some dollars in soon. That's bad. So I put out some feelers for babysitting.

And I got a bite.

I'm so nervous... what if I can't earn enough money? What if it's too demanding? Can I do this?

But as I'm starting to work on my books in anticipation of tax season, I've been hit with a stark reality check: I made VERY little money in 2010. Even if you pretend that my savings-draws during maternity leave was income... it's, like, whoa. How did we survive? Not only survive but continue to save?

So probably I have been deluding myself about how lucrative my business really is. And if I were making less per hour/day/week, but working EVERY week, I could surely do better than I did last year.

The inquiry that came in asked me about my rates, which I need to talk to Mr. I about and decide. I know that I need to charge what I need to make - whatever that is - while being conscious of the fact that I am not licensed (yet?) and am essentially a newbie at this. I did work in childcare a decade ago but mainly I'm coming at this now as a mom.

What we'll do about Judy remains to be seen. Despite everything, I feel a little sad about the prospect of letting her go. She has watched Miles grow up from an 8 week old baby and he is obviously attached to her... but it might be time to make some changes.